One afternoon our house was clamor-free, not necessary to say that my tiny tots were napping. Unlike every other day, I didn’t want to utilize those precious two hours in keeping up with my lagging chores. Rather I took advantage of that tranquil time to have some inner conversation. I was staring away engulfed in numerous thoughts. My day was another usual parenting episode, running non-stop to relentlessly cope up with the needs of my little masters. My mind wheel was swirling hard wondering, why am I struggling so much as a mother? I don’t remember my mom facing any such intense stress or pressure when she was raising us. Is it all because I am one of those millennial moms? I felt some wisdom was hailing over and here goes my realization of being a millennial mom.
Who are the Millennial Moms?
First let’s talk about the Millennials. There are many descriptions about the Millennial generation. The one which I felt will be more apt is,
People born between the mid-80’s and late 90’s are called as the Millennials.
The millennials grew along with the renaissance of the modern digital era.
People born BEFORE the millennial generation got the digital media exposure only after they were adults.
Kids who were born AFTER the millennial generation experienced the power of digitalization right from their birth. They don’t know how to live without gadgets and social media and are unaware how mechanical their life is.
Only the millennial generation experienced both sides of the world. They were born in a barely digital world. As they grew, there was an exponential growth of electronics, internet and social media.
The millennial generation knows the necessity of this digital revolution, yet is much aware of its associated shortcomings. They still relish their non-digital childhood and wonder how their life has revamped in this twenty plus years.
Now the millennial moms definition will be very apparent. Any Mom who belongs to this Millennial generation is tagged as a Millennial Mom and I am one! Hope most of my readers will also fit in this generation, so you can very well relate to my apprehension.
Moms vs Millennial Moms?
Millennial moms face many challenges which were never encountered by the yester-generation mothers!
When we were children, we were not exposed to these devices, products or situations.
- Numerous TV channels with obnoxious content to ruin innocent minds.
- Handy ipads, iphones and macbooks to forget about people.
- Junk and contaminated food to spoil health.
- Pollution to impair environment.
- Child abuse or molestation to be afraid of.
- Crime and terrorism creating hell in earth.
Children were allowed to be children!
Parents enjoyed being Parents!
So our mothers were never worried about,
- Screen time.
- Entertaining kids.
- Identifying and introducing organic and healthy meals.
- Letting children out alone.
- Saving us from social evils.
- Building our behavior / character.
- Pollution-free, safe and a sensible world for their children’s future.
Our environment was safe.
Our society was secured and we were raised naturally.
We grew up without any stress or anxiety.
I wouldn’t say being a mother was easy those days. Motherhood has always been a more responsible job.
Our mothers had their own set of challenges which they handled very well. Only today the barriers are different and more threatening.
Recommended : Stay at Home Mom – the most undervalued Job
The inexorable hurdles faced by millennial moms
Many external factors impact our children now, which was not the case some thirty or forty years back. We have to keep our children safe and away from many despicable fiends which are not in our control.
As millennial moms, we have to think hard and enact new ideas to get our children to do even some very basic things.
EAT
There are picky eaters and fuzzy eaters with many more sub categories. We need to find new techniques to feed a spoonful of nutritious food to our child.
Contamination and Food has become synonyms. Food was a medicine in those days. Now food seems to be a life menacing poison. Holding the kids away from Junk and contaminated food needs tremendous effort.
SLEEP
Many children are having sleep deprivation in this generation. We may have to curse the technology and our lifestyle which carries away the peaceful sleep from our kids.
We end up perplexing our minds and enacting strategies to make them sleep for at least few hours without any interruptions.
USE POTTY
We have too many worries about how and when to make our child use the restroom! Our life has become comfortable with diapers, when our children are infants. Our life becomes miserable because of the same diapers when our children are toddlers.
We constantly fret about when to stop diapers? When to start potty training? Oh my god! It has become a process! We start seeking for faster ways to teach a basic lesson to our kids, which should have happened naturally.
Recommended : The secret behind successfully potty training your child
ENTERTAIN THEMSELVES
Distracting kids from Television, ipads and other gadgets is becoming very arduous nowadays. We have to urge them to not depend on electronic devices and play creatively by themselves.
Our children look puzzled questioning us back, “You want me to play without anything???”. Now inducing them to play with imaginary ideas is a challenge.
MANAGE EMOTIONS
At the present generation, children behave like elders pretty soon. They have their own tantrums, anger, frustrations, depression and everything.
Managing emotions is no more an adult thing. We have to tutor the emotional management skills to all the kids as small as a tiny toddler.
KEEP THEM ENGAGED
We have to identify countless means to keep them engaged. They get bored so easily and are not sure what to do in those idle moments.
With no other option, we are enforced to fill those so called “Empty Moments” with toys, games, play dates, outing, shopping and all other possible solutions.
SHARE & SOCIALIZE
Most of our children don’t have the opportunity to relish the sibling bond. Owing to the financial constraints and inability to care for more than one child, many parents stick to a single child.
So the kids get very less chance to grow up, share and socialize with a partner. They struggle to mingle and blend in the society. So we have to discover innovative methods to implant social skills in them.
LEARN
Education is not as simple as it was before. Current schooling model requires the parents to involve and engage. We need to do projects, make them complete home assignments, prepare them for exams and literally study along with them.
PLAY REAL GAMES
Due to our living style, our kids have very meager options to play out and engage in physically draining games. Oftentimes they have to stay indoors. They prefer playing video games rather than playing outdoor games.
We end up forcibly dragging them out and get some physical exercise through outdoor activities.
SURVIVE COMPETITION
Competition has emerged in almost every phase of a child’s life. Our society compels a child to compete for retaining his self-confidence and proving his ability.
We keep on tutoring them all day to shine in education, sports, extracurricular activities, tournaments and each other contest.
ACCEPT DISAPPOINTMENTS
I am not sure why, but we, the millennial moms find it very difficult to say No to our children. We don’t want to act against their wishes and never want to hurt them.
So we are in need of some special skills to emphasize the NO to our kids and prepare them to face the dark side of the world. After all, Life will not be fair always.
Recommended : A blog series on ‘Saying No to your Child’
STAY AWAY FROM NEGATIVE ASPECTS OF LIFE
World has become a very dreadful place to live. Respect, honesty, dignity are all fading away. We have to save our kids from grasping the negative aspects like lying, whining, misbehaving, hitting, yelling, foul language and more.
Children are introduced to many such behaviors and they easily absorb those attitudes in a matter of time.
BUILD CHARACTER
Kids are exposed to more bad than the good. We need to give immense significance and take the pain to teach them gratitude, respect, public ethics, gender equality, kindness, confidence, self-esteem, honesty, helping, sharing and more.
SAVE FROM HARASSMENT
To top the list, these days cruelty is going beyond our imagination. Children are not seen as children and they end up becoming victims of many arrogant barbarians.
It has become a requisite now, to educate our children, which is a good touch and which is a bad touch. Conserving our kids from harassment which can show up in any form has become a primary concern for us, the millennial moms.
All these basic requisites were emerging naturally when we were growing up.
But this isn’t natural any more.
Now, the millennial moms, have to take the curse of modernization and look for powerful ideas to inculcate these fundamental necessities in their children.
How effectual are the millennial moms doing their mother role?
To make our kids overcome these social and digital evils and lead a natural and normal life we have to become a super woman and we do become one.
Being millennial moms, we learn how to be a calm mom, strong mom, patient mom, happy mom, positive mom and a Better mom getting better everyday.
We try and master in concealing the anger, frustration, depression, tears, tiredness, anxiety and smile to our little souls.
We strive hard to give the best in everything to our children and feel guilty if we have to compromise anything that involves our tiny tots.
Whether it is choosing a diaper or opting for a school, we gather information, analyze and scrutinize it, choose the best, review the selection again and finalize the best-est.
We do all that is possible, to live in their memories as a MOM we want them to remember.
Finally we dedicate ourselves with utmost sincerity, strain earnestly expecting no monetary gains, create a beautiful world for our children amidst all the social chaos and ACHIEVE in giving kind and strong humans to this society.
So My Dear Millennial Moms,
You may be a stay-at-home Mom or Work-at-home-Mom or a Full-Time-Working-Mom, it doesn’t matter.
But you are a MOM !
You are an ACHIEVER!
Hope I mirrored your thoughts and emotions of being a millennial mom. If you loved this post, feel free to share it with your fellow mommy friends.
I would like to hear your views too. Please register them in the comments section.
Can’t agree more. I don’t have twins but I do have three kids two and three years apart, which is more or less like bringing up triplets. So i could relate to you
Hi Rakhi, You should be busy as a bee with three kids around. Thanks for stopping by 🙂
I don’t feel super stressed about a lot of these issues. I’m a millennial mom with 2 kids, but I don’t really have problems with my kids requesting screen time or not wanting to eat healthy food or not being respectful or social. I think it’s a matter of what you teach them and expose them to when they are young.
Thanks for the comment. I was registering in a common point of view. But there are some incredible mamas handling things very well. Happy to know that you are one among them. And you are right! It depends on what we expose them to while they are young. But that itself is pretty challenging in today’s world where there is equal proportion of good and bad.
Very interesting comparison! A lot as changed…
Yes Kayla! Thank you!
Though I don’t agree with some of this (child sexual abuse and molestation has always been rampant), I love your tips and I super agree that parents are afraid of potty no! And they pass that anxiety onto children as they are just learning.
Thanks Moorea! I agree with you! Child abuse and molestation has always been there! But in comparison to some 25 yrs back, the intensity and number of incidents has tremendously increased now.
THIS is all so true, and I feel like my parents generation is always saying”back in my day we ever played on screens….” and I’m like…y’all didn’t have screens have screens 😂😂
LoL 🙂 True!!
I’m still single so don’t have practical expereince as of now. But agree with your points Moms of the 80’s and 90’s are not exposed to tech and facilities like that of present time
Yup! You are right at that point!
This topic is so close to my heart…infact just yesterday i was telling the same thing to my MIL. Ans how aptly you put in across in such an interesting way. Love reading ur colourful happy mommy post.
Thank u dipika! So happy that I reflected your thoughts! 🙂
Hmmm…I agree that a lot of problems you named are valid. I am not sure it’s true that some of these things weren’t problems “back in the day.” Child molestation, for example, has always, unfortunately, been an issue. The difference is that now we are lifting the shame placed on victims so many feel safer speaking out and we are hearing about it more. Also better forensics. But it still happened.
And I would argue that technology has made entertaining kids an easier job. Mothers actually have less expected duties than they used to…would you really rather be a 50s housewife lol? We have to find a way to strike a balance, yes, but if we can do that, technology can be our tool rather than our enemy.
Technology gives us access to a lot of evils, yes, but many of those evils existed in secret anyway. Now, we have knowledge, which can debilitate us or empower us!! And we are able to communicate and understand people from a variety of cultures in ways our ancestors never could! It’s actually beautiful!
When I was in college I read a really interesting article about the invention of childhood…Basicslly, once upon a time, kids were not viewed as innocent minipeople to cherish, nurture, and protect.
Rather, they were tools for free labor. Childhood as we know it now, did not exist. It was invented, and advertising played a huge hand in this invention. In some parts of the world it still does not exist. This article concluded that our ads, which often show kids behaving or dressing like adults to be humorous, are taking us back to a time without childhood. That is certainly something to fight, in my opinion. But I think we can use the special tools and talents we have as millennials to win this fight, rather than denying them!
One more thing: It may perhaps be true that the lower middle class are choosing to have only one child due to finances, but the very poor (the people who truly can’t afford it) often have larger family sizes due to lack of access to contraception, an inability to pay for family planning services, and lack of education. Our government is literally creating an environment in which the poorest citizens are placed in the most compromising and expensive situations.
Your mom sounds like an amazing woman to be able to parent you so well and never show she was stressed!
Thanks for sharing this thought provoking post. I think it brings up some really interesting conversations:)
Thanks for stopping by Elizabeth! I was very happy to read your detailed comments. Yes! The digital developments are actually a boon to us. But we have to be vigilant and make sure we use them for our strengths and strike a balance to keep things in our life not going out of control. Thanks again for your time and views.
Totally agree! I think every mom feels like this sometimes
Yup! Miss those old times!!
Interesting to think about the differences between moms in our generation and past generations. I do think being part of the millennial generation is special because we got to experience the non-digital world, something our children will never do.
True!! We know very well how life was in the non digital world and how things have changed now!!
True. It can get crazy when it comes to social interaction and their behavior at home. Nice post.
Thank you Preethi!
Some things never change, but technology definitely seems to have taken over! We give our kids limited screen time.
True Katie!